


It Won't Stay Dead Forever

by Bubonic_Johnson



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Backstory, Fluff, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by "So It Goes" by Fingers and the Outlaws, Inspired by Music, No Spoilers, Other, Past Relationship(s), Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:34:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29420922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubonic_Johnson/pseuds/Bubonic_Johnson
Summary: V breathed in, feeling...revitalized, the cool air filling her lungs like a second chance. “I’ve never actually seen the sun rise before,” she told Johnny, eyes sparkling in the light.“I know.”
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/V
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	It Won't Stay Dead Forever

Dust swirled behind the thick wheels of V’s bike like ghosts, chasing her beneath the stars as she tore across the Badlands. Pebbles and clods of dirt flew at her from every side. The smell of fuel burning hot and fast filled her nostrils, the smell of freedom. But the wind lashing at her face wasn’t the only reason her eyes stung, and it was the song on a chip in her head playing on repeat that sang through her ears, not the roar of the bike’s engine. 

_How do you shake this feelin'_

_That you were born scene stealin'?_

_Maybe you coasted far too long_

Tears flew from the corners of her eyes, salt bullets aimed in self-defense towards a memory that should have faded away by now, if not from the rot of Night City, then certainly by the Relic fucking with her brain. But it hadn’t. It was clear as day, bright as the neon growing smaller and smaller behind her. 

_Baby, you seem so tired_

_Of drawin' phantom power_

_From all of the fires in your life_

_As a house_

She did the best she could, but losing Jem severed the one remaining tie she’d had with the Bakkers. Without them, V had no reason to stay a second longer. Hadn’t even considered herself part of the family, at that point, not really. But Jem would insist she stayed. 

_All that you wanted_

_Was to feel less haunted_

_By the desires,_

_Desires that drive you into the arms of another lover's dreams_

Then, Jem disappeared. Drove off into the night, left her nothing but an apology and promise to be back, scribbled on a scrap of paper. Rest of the clan was as clueless as her, but it wasn’t the rest of the clan watching sunsets on cliff tops or getting stoned and laughing until their stomachs hurt or sharing cigarettes, smiles, or their body with Jem. V deserved more than a fucking note. At the very least, she should have gotten the contents of that note face to face. Five and a half months she waited for Jem to come back before turning to Night City for a second chance, empty-handed and brokenhearted. 

_Is this all there is even after_

_Years of trial and error,_

_Learning how to love, be loved and destroyed?_

Then she met Judy. Panam. Even Johnny had his charm, sometimes. But no matter how deep she looked into each of their characters, how good of a grasp she had on their personalities, all they did was remind her of Jem, each of them like a splinter of her old love. Judy’s passion for friendship, always having V’s back. Panam’s desire for freedom, living her own life. Johnny’s straight-faced, sarcastic assholery covering up the softer, deeper parts of him he deems the rest of the world undeserving of the chance to see. No matter how badly she wanted Judy for Judy, or Panam for Panam, or Johnny for Johnny, it was always Jem hijacking her brain like the worst kind of daemon. Someone that didn’t even have the balls to tell her where they were going didn’t deserve that much thought, but V was still coughing up whatever they could. 

_Board up the bedroom windows_

_Fire off Roman candles_

_Watch all the ghosts in our clothes_

_Disappear_

The song’s last ringing note faded away to the noise of the bike chewing up the dirt beneath her, before the crackling melody of the intro began again. She silenced the music, though, as she approached her destination.

V sat on a familiar rock, looking out from the familiar cliff. Ignoring the distant fluorescent eyesore that was Night City, she gazed towards the horizon, finding the familiar patches of stars. Some of them were harder to discern. It had been so long since she bothered to look for them. Others jumped out at her, immediately recognizable. 

Sighing, V laid against the rock in a familiar way, back flat as she stared up at the sky. The hairs on her neck and arms raised as a chill that had nothing to do with the cool stone beneath her swept through her body

“You really think I’m charming?” Johnny asked sarcastically as he rounded the rock she lay upon, though V could feel there was genuine curiosity in his words as well.

“I said _sometimes_ ,” V remarked. “That means, like, 23% of the time.”

“Only 23%?” 

“And that’s being generous.”

“Fine,” he snorted. With a groan, he stretched himself out beside her, pulling one knee up towards him. He crossed his arms beneath his head, bumping V with a metal elbow. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“No, no, I’ll just..scoot over,” she joked, though the humor in it was quickly lost as she readjusted herself, turning to find it was still Johnny she was talking to. 

He caught her eye, raising his brows. “What?” he asked, corner of his mouth twitching.

“You know exactly what,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she looked back up towards the sky. “You know every other thought of mine.”

“Pardon me for wanting to give you the courtesy to voice your own thoughts.”

Same sarcasm, but this time, tinged with hurt. It was amazing just how many shades of sarcasm there were. Sighing, V faced him again. “Sorry. Just...got who is and who isn’t beside me right now a little mixed up for a second.”

“Ain’t right, Jem leaving you for dead like that.”

“Leave me for--it wasn’t _that_ serious, Johnny, Jesus.”

“Yeah? That why you’ve been stumbling around like a zombie whole time you’ve been here? Mindlessly going from one gig to the next, landing yourself in shit pile after shit pile, only to find yourself haunted by the same damn memories every night?” His words were blunt, but not...unkind, necessarily. They actually sounded concerned. “You’ve tried everything except getting fucked up, and believe me, I’ve been waiting for that one.”

“Thanks, Johnny, I’ll keep you in mind next time.”

“That ain’t the point. The point is Jem fucked you over when you had nothing, and they _knew_ you had nothing, and you’re still too busy wallowing in self-pity to realize it. You’re stuck on trying to find an acceptable reason for why they left you, some minute detail that makes it okay, justified. You’re still clinging to the hope that they’ll find you somehow, explain theirself, and it’ll all make sense.” He sat up enough to provide a silhouette of himself against the night sky. “You’re too afraid to let yourself hurt. Fully. Stop cherry-picking which emotions you’re paying attention to. Let the part of you that needs to be pissed off be pissed off. Let the part of you that needs to scream fuckin’ scream.” He laid back down, sighing. “More ways to die than just physical, V. We both know part of you’s died since then. Doesn’t mean the rest of you did, though. And that one missing piece? It won’t stay dead forever. So...quit actin’ like it.”

Her immediate instinct was to lash out with some shitty remark about Johnny not understanding, but given his unique position literally inside her head, well...he understood better than she did. “You always been this knowledgeable about emotions?”

“Not till I knew you.”

Before she could reply or even process the flutter in her gut, Johnny craned his neck to look ahead. “C’mon,” he said, lightly tapping V’s thigh with the back of his metal hand. “Don't want you to miss this.”

With a grunt, she sat up with him.

“Wow,” was all she could say, awestruck by the sight. Instead of the sinking ball of flame she’d grown so used to, this one, as the name suggested, rose, seemingly growing from the horizon. The colors of a sunset were inverted, the blaze of yellows and oranges lifting the sun upwards instead of pushing it down. Above it, the gentle blue of the morning sky grew, and V could never get enough of that color. Really, she would never get enough of this new view. None of the corpo-manufactured shit could ever compare to this type of beauty.

V breathed in, feeling...revitalized, the cool air filling her lungs like a second chance. “I’ve never actually seen the sun rise before,” she told Johnny, eyes sparkling in the light.

“I know.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
